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There is no one idea or one path to move from loneliness to contentment, but there are general ideas that seem to work. A first step seems to be acceptance without judgment. Hello from another PT blogger. I learned a lot from your piece. Thank you. I agree that the first step in coping well with loneliness is to accept that it's present and to not judge yourself negatively about it.
I would guess that it's the rare person who doesn't feel lonely at times.
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I've written a piece that might help your readers cope better when loneliness comes to visit, and I thought I'd prove the link here. At this time i was confuse not knowing what to do. To my greatest surprise 3 days after he has cast the spell my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him that he is very sorry for everything he has done to me and the kids This article feels like it was written for me, a classic case, well done, and a very accurate analysis.
This brings to mind a conversation with my GP. He claims that "Depression is the leading mental illness in today's society. At its core, I believe that is true when you sustitute his wording of depression quite simply to lonliness or to further amplify his words in my own words "a very broken down human social system globally, which can be broken down into a multitude of factors that contribute to this broken down system".
I recently have self discovered that my so called mental illness which is a bundle of depression and anxiety that has become chronic and systemarically destroying every bit of my life could very well boil down to what I believe is at its core, the subject or of this topic, aka, the issue of lonliness.
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My depression really is just a lack of connection and loneliness. Retirement and divorce have taken the meaning from my life. Relationships heal loneliness. I feel like I am proving it out until the end. Given that I am healthy and only 66, that may be a long time.
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I hope something or somebody sets your heart on fire in the best possible way ;. All the best! This is a great piece. Not only because it was well researched and well written, but you touched on so many important aspects, including the stigma associated with loneliness and why so many people don't want to talk about it. True, some may offer unhelpfully trite "advice", but some people like to do that in any situation.
If many people do not talk about their own loneliness, it is mostly because 1 it doesn't really help; 2. When i was a child i always felt alone. I didnt feel there was so much love at home at my school friends rejected me as I grew up. As expected, i became a depressive person that didnt feel any interest in meeting people and at the same time was willing to click with someone.
I havent deeply clicked yet with someone nor i know if i'll do, i've always asked for too much. Now, I dont have a best friend, but i click with most of the people in some level, and thats better than being alone. You can click with everybody if you act naturally. I realized that i tried too hard to make friends and i wasnt acting like i really wanted, which made feel tired at the end.
You just have to say what you think and you'll be surprised that many people still will want to have you by their side after. You also have to fight and not let yourself go down. To have friends you have to stop needing them. Your friendship has to be based on complementarity and respect and not on needing.
My situation is similar, but the causes are different. For instance, I just never fit in with any one group at school, therefore, I felt alone at a young age. At home, I was invisible Now as an adult, the last thing I want to be is alone, but I cannot seem to keep friends. I identify with your last sentence in this regard, because I feel I 'need' a friend. I cannot stand being alone. I have been told that I "try too hard. It should come naturally. And that I should learn to be happy alone".
That just does not make sense to me at this point I have a lot to learn. Thanks for this article. Thanks for posting this. Though useful information, this article hit close to home. Truth is I've been lonely since I was a child. I grew up an only child. My entire family aside from my parents live in another country and I have never had the chance to get to know them. I was awkward as a kid and never could keep my friends.
And now I'm a 31 year old adult whose never been in a relationship.
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I have never even been on a date. I got so used to my loneliness that now I'm socially stumped. At work people have categorized me as the office loner and no one likes me. To make matters worse if someone is interested in me I can't tell cause I'm such a bad reader of people's body language and general character. There was this guy I was growing close with but I assumed he was just being friendly and nice so I literally asked him to stop talking to me and pushed him away cause I sincerely doubt he'd be genuinly interested in me. I've come to the realization that I will die alone and honestly I don't want to live out a long life due to the loneliness.
I hope I don't live past I don't want to turn into a crazy lonely cat lady.
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I've lost my desire and will to live and don't even physically take care of myself anymore. I just don't care for life anymore. Sometimes one is right in giving up. Hope I die soon indeed. Yvette, your post makes me so sad!
Animals are so accepting and very rewarding. But I know what you mean about socially stumped given years of not being able to practice the skills.
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I didn't think anyone would actually read that. It's the complete truth though. I like animals but they're so different from people. I don't see how that's going to improve my social skills.